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Starting school is an exciting time for your little learner…but it can also be a season of uncertainty and a source of stress. It’s easy to understand why—for many children, school marks the first time they will be away from their parents for an extended period of time.
While it’s unlikely you’ll be able to completely banish the first-day butterflies, there are things you can do to help your child process all of those big feelings and cope with the transition in healthy ways. Here are 5 of our favorite tips for alleviating some of those first-day jitters.
Encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling about starting school…both the good and bad feelings. While it’s tempting to steer your child toward positive feelings with statements like “Aren’t you excited to start school and make new friends?”, this can make your child reluctant to admit any fears or hesitation they may have.
Instead, leave the question open…”How are you feeling about starting school?”. Let them know that it’s okay to feel excited…and it’s okay to feel nervous/scared/uncertain. After all, both things can be true at the same time.
Books are a great way for children to process those big first-day feelings. By reading about someone else’s fear and experience, they learn to empathize and can walk through the experience before they actually go through the experience.
First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg is an excellent resource for parents of children going to school for the first time and those who get back-to-school jitters every year. We love that the book includes a Certificate of Courage for making it through the first day and a First Day Memories Sheet that can be filled out by the parent or child.
The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn is another wonderful book for littles who struggle with separation anxiety.
Talking about what a school day will look like can relieve some of the stress and help your child feel more prepared to tackle the first day.
Go through the entire schedule. What time will they get up? What do they want to eat for their first-day breakfast? If you didn’t receive one, ask your child’s teacher for the class itinerary and go over that with your child, pointing out the different activities that will happen throughout the day and what time they will be picked up.
This can be a huge help to children who are worried about the unknown. Visiting their class and meeting their teacher transforms the first day from a mysterious event to a place and person they have seen with their own eyes.
This nice person is going to be your teacher!
This is where you will have circle time! And look! You get to have a desk of your very own!
A class visit allows your child to get comfortable with this new space and routine.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the assurance that they can do things that feel difficult. Acknowledge your child’s feelings and encourage them to try. Assure them that the first day is only the first day once…after that, they will know what to expect.
If you feel as though your child is struggling in a way that worries you, you notice behavioral changes, or your child feels fearful long after school has started, talk to your pediatrician or the school counselor about ways to support your child.
Here’s the good news—most cases of first-day fears subside within the first week or two of school. So, hug those babies who aren’t really babies anymore and send them on their way into this exciting new season of life.
Here’s to all the littles walking into a classroom for the first time…you’re going to do amazing things!
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